(Just so everyone knows, i am not so heartless. I was balling when i wrote this chapter. I miss Simone to. This chapter should clear a few things up for you and give you the info you are after on the 'why' of it.
And there is just ONE more chapter after this one..and then its the end for BA....)Chapter Fifty-seven(Bryon’s thoughts)
“Do you mind if I have a moment to myself?” I asked Seth through my tears.
He gave me a small nod, his face somber as he left the room.
I watched the door close behind him. I felt numb as tears ran down my face.
“Simone wouldn’t be dead now if it wasn’t for me” I whispered through my tears, letting the thoughts continue.
She was a new mum why in the hell didn’t I fight harder, to stop her giving up a kidney for me. We both knew the risks were high, but I never thought it my wildest dreams it would happen to her. Not my Simone. I should have fought harder. If I had she would be here now, alive and happy. Why couldn’t it be me instead? I was the sick one. She was healthy and strong. Why her. Why now? Now because of me no one would see her beautiful face again. Her different smiles she had for different occasions. Her perfect lips and expressive green eyes.
Her daughter would now grow up an orphan, because of me. Why in the hell didn’t I stop her? Why? Hope will never know what her Mum was like. Never know how gentle she could be or how she wouldn’t let anyone hurt the people she loved. How special she was.
No, I will make sure Hope knows how special her mum was, how she would fight for those she loved with a lions roar. How unselfish she was, and how much I loved her.
I let my thoughts continue for a bit longer. Sometimes I smiled at a memory of Simone, that was until I remembered I wouldn’t ever see her again, then the tears would start again. I felt like someone had taken my heart from my body and returned it to me with a massive hole where she should be. I knew that I would never get that hole back. I just kept hoping she knew how much I loved her.
I had no idea how long it was when my tears wouldn’t come anymore, and neither would my thoughts both good and bad. I just felt empty.
I knew Simone’s family would have been informed already, but I was sure they wouldn’t have had a time to tell her friends. There was one friend of hers that was mine to. I knew he would pass the word around, something I could only do once.
So I rang Cooper.
“She is gone” I said sniffing into the phone when Coopers voice came over the line.
“Who is?” Cooper said confused, knowing instantly it was me.
“Simone” was all I could say.
“Oh” Cooper said a little shocked “How is Cassie and Claudia? How are you?” he asked recovering quickly
“I don’t know about her family, I haven’t seen them yet and I feel numb” I replied “it just doesn’t feel real”.
“I understand” Cooper replied “I don’t want to be a jerk, but how did she…die?” he asked.
“I don’t know” I said honestly “I haven’t stopped crying enough to ask. All Seth said was that she was dead. I don’t even know how long ago that was. I don’t even know how he found out”.
“Don’t worry about it” Cooper said “it was silly of me to ask anyway. Look Jade and I will be on the plane in the next few hours. Hang in there ok buddy”.
“Can you let her other friends know? I don’t think Cassie or Claudia will be up for it” I asked him before I said bye.
“For sure mate” Cooper said “We will see you soon”.
After saying goodbye, Cooper’s question rang in my ears. There was one more thing I had to know. Why would someone so healthy and fit all of a sudden just go down hill.
Pressing the buzzer for a nurse I waited. I had to know.
My door opened a minute later, the nurse popped her head through the door.
“Hello Bryon” she said coming into the room “what can I do for you?”
“I want to know what happened to Simone and why no one came and told me” I questioned.
Her face lost is smile and she became serious. “I am sorry Bryon, her next of kin needed to be informed first, and we have just got in contact with her mum”.
“Cassie didn’t know?” I asked my eyes wide.
“Not until a few minutes ago” she replied “how did you find out?”
“That’s no important” I said wanting more answers “how did it happen?”
“Well, like you we were keeping close observation on Simone, when her temperature did a sudden spike. She was rushed back to theater, it was discovered she had got an infection. They treated it, but I am afraid she didn’t do so well” she said seriously.
“It was an infection?” I asked shocked that something so silly would kill her
“Yes. It can happen” the nurse replied somberly “especially with that kind of operation” she continued to speak.
I am not sure what she said after that, as I was lost in my own thoughts, but I remember saying “thanks anyway”.
“Bryon?” the nurse questioned “did you hear me?”
“Yeah, sure” I said still distracted.
“Can I get you anything else?” she asked
“Ahh yeah, can you send Seth in” I replied
“Sure Bryon” she smiled.
A moment later Seth was back, pulling up a chair to my bed. “How did you find out Simone had died?” I choked.
“I was walking past her room on the way to yours when I heard some people talking. So I stopped. They said ‘we lost her. Time of death’. I knew it was her room and I knew I had to tell you. I ran straight here” he replied sadly.
“Thanks for telling me Seth” I said quietly staring off into space. I wanted to cry again, but I couldn’t. I was just…numb.
Two Years Later…I groaned as the alarm clock went off next to me “Dam that was a good dream” I grumbled as I turn it off.
“Is it time to get up already?” the sexy femine body that was next to me turned and pressed up naked against mine.
I smiled down at her and pulled her closer, my hands slowing stoking the silk skin of her back. “No beautiful. You stay asleep, I need to go the graveyard and say hello” I said before bending my head to kiss the lips that were presented to me.
“mmm” she moaned “do tell me about this dream before you go” said sleepily.
“As you know 2 years ago I asked the woman I had always loved to marry me and due to circumstances beyond both of our control, it didn’t happen. To this day I can’t help but dream of how our wedding would have been. How much I would give to see her smiling face walking towards me down the aisle. Though it was the wedding night I dreamed of” I said grinning.
Her eyes popped open and looked straight into mine “I can make you forget her” she said sexily.
“Oh really?” I grinned back
“Do you have time?” she questioned
“For you baby, I have all the time in the world” without another word I pushed her back onto the bed, my lips joining hers as I let my hands explore her body.
Two hours later I was showered, dressed.
I looked down at the sleeping body in my bed. She was a vision of beauty. Waking her up one more time I kissed her goodbye, a kiss that lingered.
“Want me to come with you” she asked, one eye open.
“No baby, you stay there just as you are”.
“Ok” she mumbled
Not long later I was on my way to the cemetery, lost in my own thoughts. She was wrong, no one could ever make me forget Simone, she haunted my dreams and most of my waking moments. The thoughts were the same and dominated one area. It was the same as my dreams, she would say yes to marrying me and before I knew it we were standing in front of a celebrant getting married.
It didn’t take me long and before I knew it I was at the cemetery, something I did every Saturday morning for the last two years. I missed her so much and this seemed to be the only way I felt close to her.
I would bring flowers of different kinds, clean away any dead ones or pull any weeds that had come up, and I would sit and talk to her. She of course didn’t answer me, but I felt a certain sense of comfort coming here. Besides I didn’t want her to be alone.
Today was no different. I pulled the dead flowers from the vase and replaced them with the daisies I had brought with me this week, she loved daisies. Walking over to the bin I deposited the dead ones and walked back over to her last resting place and sat down next to her and started talking, I knew she was listening.
I missed her so much and would give anything to have her back with me.