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Post by coolh5000 on Apr 14, 2006 16:38:08 GMT
I had an idea for a story so i started writing it and i would like some feedback on what you all think of it. The inspiration for this story came from an *almost* real event and i would like to thank the *real* Helen, Andrew and Carla for making this possible. Prologue “How could you do this to me? I thought I meant more to you than that.” She yelled at me.  Suddenly she stopped yelling and burst into tears. She turned her back on me and walked away. I stood looking at her, not knowing what to say. “Why are you just standing there?” she screamed. “Don’t you even care enough to explain to me.”  She slapped me across the face – “There – now do you feel anything?” I just stood there unable to reply. Of course I cared – More than I ever thought possible. I knew that I had to tell her everything. But I just didn’t know how. I didn’t even know myself how it had happened. I needed to make her understand and to do that I had to go back to the beginning… Chapter 1 This is me, my name is Andrew Jones, I am 24 and a economics graduate of Sim State University.  This is Helen, we met in our Junior year, she had just switched majors to Economics and we met in a lecture. It was love at first sight. We dated for the rest of our time at college and then I proposed on our graduation night.  We didn’t have much money but we had just enough to buy a small house in the newly developed Bluewater Village. We loved our little house and though we were always short of money we had each other and we were happy.  We had a long engagement, we wanted to wait until our careers were off the ground and we had a bit more money. We both got jobs in large businesses and eventually after a year we decided it was time to get married.   We had a small wedding, just me, Helen and Carla – Helens childhood friend and bridesmaid. We scraped the money together to buy Helen a beautiful wedding dress and I hired a suit. Our `reception` was held in our kitchen, Helen cooked a meal and her, Carla and me sat and enjoyed it. The three of us had a great evening and after Carla had left Helen and me had some fun of our own! So tell me what you think...  |
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Post by Kate on Apr 14, 2006 16:53:04 GMT
Ooh, I love it! That was a great start Hannah, please do post more!  I'm intrigued to know what Andrew did! ...And Andrew also reminds me of a guy I worked with when I was on work experience. Yah, just a random piece of info for you. Lol!  |
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Post by DejAng3l on Apr 14, 2006 19:38:14 GMT
Sounds very intriguing......hope you do continue.....i would greatly enjoy reading more........
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Post by The Moon & Antarctica on Apr 14, 2006 19:41:59 GMT
Ooooooohhh! I want to know what he did! This is a great beginning!
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Post by ~!_Broken_!~ on Apr 16, 2006 17:04:55 GMT
This is intreguing*sp* keep updating please!
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Post by coolh5000 on Apr 17, 2006 12:05:17 GMT
i'm glad you like it. I have the next chapter but i need to take a few more pictures for it before i post
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Post by Shell on Apr 17, 2006 13:01:57 GMT
How did i miss this?? Great begining...cant wait to read the next chapter!
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Post by coolh5000 on Apr 17, 2006 17:04:18 GMT
Chapter 2We had been married for 2½ years when Helen got the offer of a lifetime. We were still living in the small house, we had no kids so we didn’t need a bigger house. Also we were both still paying off the huge loans that we had to get before we went to university so all our money disappeared before we got to see it. One day in early January, Helen was late home from work, I knew she had a big meeting with her bosses so I assumed it had overrun. She eventually got home at about 9:30 and told me we needed to talk.  This is never what you want to here from your wife so all I could think about as I cooked us both some dinner was Helen and what she was going to say. She couldn’t be pregnant could she? As we sat down I asked her what we needed to talk about and she told me that her company was opening a new office and they wanted her to go and oversee the opening and make sure it got off the ground. She would also be on the committee to decide who to hire to run the new business. I was thrilled for her but then she dropped the bombshell.  The office was in Tokyo. I was stunned, she explained that they didn’t want her to move forever just for about 4 months. It was an amazing opportunity – the company were paying for everything including flights and a luxury apartment while she was over there, they would also be paying her enough for us both to clear our debts and buy a new house. It was the kind of opportunity she could only dream of as she could never afford in real life. There was just one problem – none of this included me – there were no inclusive flights for husbands and even if there were I couldn’t leave my job right now. I was so happy for her but I was also gutted inside. I knew I had to be supportive, but there was a voice inside telling me she might never come back, she might get offered a job, meet a guy and forget me.  I smiled at her and told her it was great and she would have such a good time. I even cracked open a bottle of good wine that we had been saving and we drank to her future. Eventually I asked when she would be back and she said late April if everything went Ok. Then she told me that she had to leave soon, I thought she meant a few weeks but it turned out she was leaving on Saturday morning - just 2 days away.  Just after 6 in the morning on Saturday Helen packed her bags and left for Tokyo – before she left she gave me a hug and told me she would always love me and she would come back no matter what. I held her tightly for a moment and then relaxed unable to express how sad I was feeling in words.  She got in the taxi and drove off – part of me had been hoping she would back out at the last minute but she left without a backwards glance. And I was left alone, wondering how I was going to get through the next four months
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Post by Shell on Apr 17, 2006 17:08:10 GMT
Oh how sad!
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Post by Kate on Apr 17, 2006 17:36:55 GMT
Aww! Poor Andrew. I hope Helen doesn't meet another guy...  |
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Post by DejAng3l on Apr 17, 2006 19:30:26 GMT
awwww......that's so sad....but i don't think it's helen that met another man......i think it's andrew that is involved with another woman because of the way the story started off.....but who knows.......this story is interesting..........
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Post by The Moon & Antarctica on Apr 17, 2006 21:07:37 GMT
Yeah, dejang that's what I was thinking, too!
This is SO good! Hurry and update! lol
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Post by ~!_Broken_!~ on Apr 17, 2006 23:56:23 GMT
Aww... I hope he comes to his senses and goes after her. |
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Post by hawkeye on Apr 18, 2006 0:20:11 GMT
awwww depressing I love your pictures, great skill (where'd the suitcase comefrom?)  |
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Post by coolh5000 on Apr 18, 2006 8:37:38 GMT
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Post by hawkeye on Apr 18, 2006 14:13:38 GMT
thank you, update soon!
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Post by stephie on Apr 18, 2006 23:19:30 GMT
great story so far can't wait for more!
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Post by coolh5000 on Apr 19, 2006 14:45:14 GMT
So here it is the next chapter, i know you have all been feeling very sorry for Andrew but trust me i wouldn't bother. This is a long one... Chapter 3 Soon after Helen had left I got in my clapped out car, as I had to work all day. I had trouble with the car that morning – the door wouldn’t close no matter how hard I slammed it and then it just wouldn’t start, eventually I had to call a mate who worked in my office and he picked me up on his way. I was over an hour late and boy did Nigel let me know it.  He was yelling at me for half an hour about how irresponsible I was and how there were plenty of other people who could do my job just as well if not better than me. I was fuming and it took all my energy not to yell back at him. I only managed to restrain myself because I knew how much I needed this job and that I just couldn’t afford to get fired. I hated my job. Helen’s career had really taken off and she was always getting promoted. I on the other hand seemed to have reached a dead end. I was stuck in a boring office doing a boring job – with a boss who I despised.  Eventually after Nigel had shut up and gone to find someone else to yell at I began to actually do some work. I was low down in my company – I did have my own office but it was literally big enough for a desk, filing cabinet and me. It had one window with blinds that were permanently shut so you couldn’t look out. I had hung two pictures on the wall, one of Helen and one of the two of us. I was supposed to finish at 5 but I had to wait for a lift home so I didn’t leave until 7. By the time I got home I was totally fed up – It had been one of the worst days of my life.  I was starving as I hadn’t eaten all day but I couldn’t be bothered to make myself something to eat so I did the only thing I could – changed into something more comfortable then called a cab to take me to a bar so I could get wasted.  I sat at the bar in the Hub drowning my sorrows and thinking about Helen. I ordered drink after drink throwing each one back like it was water.  Suddenly I heard someone say my name and turning I saw that sitting next to me was a blonde woman of about my age who looked vaguely familiar but I didn’t know where from.  After I had stared at her for a minute or two she introduced herself as Carla. Suddenly it clicked; she had been Helen’s bridesmaid. The two of them had had some huge argument the week after the wedding and we hadn’t heard from her since then so its no wonder that I didn’t recognise her. Helen had always been very secretive about the argument and she would never tell me what it was about. We talked for a bit but then I realised that I had work in the morning and if I overslept then Nigel would fire me for sure so I said goodbye and left.  That night something strange happened, I was in our bed – the room was decorated by Helen in case you were wondering. Anyway I was dreaming about Helen – but it wasn’t a good dream – we were arguing, she was yelling at me and crying and I didn’t know what it was that I had done so I couldn’t comfort her.  Then the dream changed and it wasn’t Helen anymore it was Carla, and we were happy, we were at a club and dancing and she was laughing and I was laughing and then she leaned in to…  I woke with a start – at first I didn’t know what had made me wake up but then the dream came back. I thought about the dream and wondered what it could mean, eventually I decided that it was trust a dream – it didn’t mean anything. My head was pounding and I only had a couple of hours of sleep left so I turned over and forgot about it. End of chapter by the way there is a twist in this story - it's not going to be man has affair and leaves wife... |
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Post by Shell on Apr 19, 2006 19:46:37 GMT
So what can we bribe you with to get a hint on what the twist is??? Great update!
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Post by ~!_Broken_!~ on Apr 19, 2006 23:18:33 GMT
very good. I hope you update soon, I like this story
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I'm intrigued to know what Andrew did!
I am a mum! My daughter was born 7 Jan 2013
